While the prospective homebuyer ultimately buys based on financials and their credit score, every real estate agent knows when a client sees the house they’d like to be their home, it is an emotional reaction.
From voting to buying stocks, our emotions play a critical role in every decision we make. Our ability to be successful in our business and personal lives depends, in large part, on our ability to make mature, rational decisions. To do this requires emotional intelligence.
Emotional intelligence is the capacity to perceive, evaluate, understand, and control emotions in oneself and in other people. This concept has gained considerable traction among business leaders since the publication of Emotional Intelligence: Why it Can Matter More than IQ by Daniel Goleman in 2005.
According to Goleman, research on the brain and behavioral development indicates that our view of so-called “intelligence” is simply too narrow. It fails to include aspects of our makeup that are the strongest indicators of potential human success. A number of these traits, including empathy, strong interpersonal relationships, and social competence, are closely associated with individuals who succeed both at work and in their personal lives.
Goleman tells us that mastery of emotions is as critical as one’s potential to learn. These traits which reflect emotional development cannot be measured in an IQ test or derived from SAT results.
So, how do you know if you’re emotionally intelligent? Here are 13 qualities and skills you must possess:
1. You’re not afraid or overwhelmed by your emotions.
You’re comfortable enough in your own skin to articulate your emotional wants and needs.
2. You’re not scared when it comes to new situations or interacting with new people
You’re able to manage your behavior and overcome impulses. This helps you muster the confidence to navigate business and social situations that can be complex and uncomfortable.
3. You take a strong interest in other people.
You listen closely and answer thoughtfully. You’re tuned in to people’s body language and have a knack for reading others closely. This curiosity makes you a good judge of character and helps you build strong and lasting business and personal relationships.
4. You’re not afraid of change.
For you, change is another opportunity to shine or to serve.
5. You want to help and are able to give selflessly.
Your sensitivity and your empathy for others is a trait others identify with you.
6. You live in the moment.
You put the past in the past. You also don’t obsess about the future and live squarely in the present.
7. You can say no.
Just as you’re able to control your own impulses, you are also able to resist demands put on you by others for your time or work when you know you won’t be able to give your best.
8. You’re a passionate and motivated leader.
You look for every chance to achieve. You often see opportunities where others see challenges and you very much enjoy the process.
9. You’re not afraid to make time for yourself and your family.
You appreciate the benefits that can only come with downtime — and you take advantage of them.
10. You’re grateful for what you have.
You’re not glib or ironic. You know what you’ve worked hard for and feel you’ve earned it.
11. You’re humble.
You’re able to enjoy successes and learn from your failures. You’re sensitive to others and are not boastful or arrogant.
12. You’ve overcome negative self-talk.
You’ve silenced that voice in your head that holds you back. When you’re upset, you understand what is bothering you and you’re confident in addressing it and finding a resolution.
13. You don’t hold a grudge.
You put others at ease and are not easily offended.
The Bottom Line
An emotionally intelligent individual enjoys life — even in the face of challenges that for others might seem insurmountable. They have long since abandoned any quest they may have had for perfection. Emotionally intelligent people sleep soundly at night and wake in the morning ready to go. Are you emotionally intelligent?